Conundrum

Just a little while back, I wrote to a couple of friends, and discussed with my wife:

Big picture fatigue has led to hugging the mundane. Feeling so ordinary and worthless. Must rise.

Reminds me of those beautiful lyrics:
Ho mujhpe karam sarkar tera
Araj tujhe kar de mujhe
Mujhse hi riha
Ab mujhko bhi ho deedar mera
Kar de mujhe mujhse hi riha, mujhse hi riha
Mann ke mere yeh bharam
Kachche mere yeh karam
Leke chale hain kahaan
Main to jaanu hi na

The wife suggested that everybody needs a break from being focussed, so there's nothing wrong in embracing the mundane for a while. Indeed, I should keep some time aside for letting myself aimlessly wander and wonder. 

Prima facie, brilliant idea. But I got a problem with that. If I set aside some time for not doing anything, am I not allocating time for doing nothing, which is really helpful if you look at the big picture. Thereby, by not doing anything, I am actually paying heed to the big picture, the very thing I'm seeking to escape?

What to do?

The trip to Macau

So the boss comes in on Friday and writes a mail to the new hires asking if they'll be interested in an all expenses paid overnight trip to Macau. Surprise surprise, everyone says yes :P Then he personally comes over and casually asks us to carry some identification like our local HK ID card or our passport.



I'm flying out of HK for a bit on Sunday, so I decide its best not to carry my passport, specially coz. it's been pouring cats and dogs here lately. So a longish ferry ride later, we reach Macau immigration, and I'm told I won't be allowed to enter solely on my HKID as I'm not a permanent HK citizen and my is a must. Couldn't do anything about it, and had to take the ferry back :( Anyway, can't blame my boss for two reasons -

-He can fire me if I piss him off


-It was a bona fide mistake on a seemingly inconsequential technical detail



I guess this'll be a nice little anecdote to tell people... "You know once I went to another country without my passport..." :P



On a separate note, I was pleasantly surprised by the response to my last post. While there weren't too many comments on the post itself, a lot of my friends called or mailed me personally. Felt nice, specially because it even helped a few :)

On relationships...

I'm no relationship expert, though I've been in one for several years now and will soon be marrying (the same girl I was in a relationship with, for those who look for technical correctness) :) I've never been in a long-distance relationship. But I've realized a few things along the years which are now a part of my belief system, and here are a couple of them which came up during a chat with a friend.

Relationships weren't designed to be long-distance
Some time apart is OK and inevitable, anything more than that is not. I'll be the last person to say this is irrefutable, without exception or not subjective. But I am firmly against long-term long-distance relationships. I believe proximity to share the little things in life, be part of the mundane and be around for no reason other than give life a chance to make memories possible are crucial in building a foundation that lasts. Doesn't it seem logical that you be a part of a person's 80% time? It's infinitely harder to be a part of something so important being far away. I'm not even talking about the practical difficulties that arise (time-zone differences, cultural compulsions that only one can experience, etc.) or the heightened insecurities and vulnerabilities due to the distance. Of course, none of this matters if you're not looking to be serious, but I'm not the type who has ever sought a fling in the first place :)

What's the only good reason to move on (unless you are dumped ;)?
I think it's normal to want to "check if the grass is greener on the other side" even when you are in a relationship. I don't think that the mechanism that gets us to like someone just shuts down for life once you're in a relationship. I think a lot of people end up putting a lot of stress on themselves because of this. What's so wrong in being attracted to someone anyway? Anyway, the "permission to explore" acts as a much stronger deterrent that many seek than the "threat to not", which will in all probability only make the forbidden fruit more alluring! This is not to promote infidelity. Far from it. Here, I've found two things to be true, applicable to both the people - "only think and do that what you're comfortable with your partner thinking and doing". Second, the trick of knowing whether or not you are should be with the person is to apply the following test: "Are there any fundamental differences of opinion on things you value which are irreconcilable?" If the answer is yes, check if compromise is an acceptable solution. Otherwise, move on. Any other reason - try sticking around, else you're certain to be checking for greener pastures again in a little while. I believe that love, much like any other valuable thing, requires a lot of time, investment and patience. The outcome is what's divinely beautiful. The difficult part is to identify the things you value, or to know yourself.

-Nicky

"How I Met Your Mother"

Whadaap!

I didn't think it could happen, but I have found a new TV series which can claim to be in the same league as Friends. No, I'm not going to compare the two, and comparisons are by and large meaningless. Suffice it to say that this is a brilliant creation, funny, slick and (to quote an oft used word from the series) "Legendary"!

The plot is one where it's 2030, and Ted Moseby (the central character of the series voiced by Bob Saget, Danny Tanner of Full House) is telling his kids "How I Met Your Mother".

It features Niel Patrick Harris as Barney. He was Doogie Howser, M.D. and is a brilliant actor and in many ways the star of the show, in spite of not being scripted as the central character of the series. And there's the gorgeous Cobie Smulders, the prettiest face on television for a long long while. There are three more characters (including Ted Moseby) and all of them are brilliant, and share an awesome chemistry.

Don't miss this.

-Nicky

PS: It doesn't air in India yet, but we all know there are 'torrential' ways to see all the episodes, don't we? ;-) Additionally, you can see full episodes on the homepage of the series (click on the title)